By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
Running a small business often feels like trying to juggle a dozen spinning plates—each one representing a different employee, complete with their own quirks, personalities, and idiosyncrasies. Leadership in this context is more than just a job; it’s a daily exercise in adaptability, patience, and sometimes, sheer endurance. Now, imagine if your team was composed of the Twelve Disciples. These were no ordinary individuals—they were a motley crew from all walks of life, each bringing their unique challenges and strengths to the table. Suddenly, the task of management transforms from merely challenging to downright biblical.
Managing this dynamic group would require not just skill, but a deep understanding of human nature and, perhaps most importantly, a good sense of humor. After all, when your team includes a headstrong leader like Peter, a skeptical analyst like Thomas, and a passionate advocate like Simon, you’re not just managing a business—you’re navigating a minefield of strong wills, deep convictions, and occasional missteps. In this satirical guide, we’ll explore how to lead a team of such diverse characters, offering insights and laughs along the way as we delve into the delicate art of balancing personalities while keeping the business on track.
This journey into biblical management isn’t just an exercise in imagination—it’s a reminder that leadership, whether in ancient times or today, is about understanding people, managing expectations, and sometimes performing the occasional miracle to keep everything running smoothly. So, get ready for a humorous yet insightful exploration of what it would be like to manage the Twelve Disciples in a modern small business setting. How did Jesus manage such a crew back then? And, more intriguingly, how might he do it today in the fast-paced world of startups and small businesses? The answers may surprise you, but one thing is certain: every day would be a lesson in patience, strategy, and the divine art of leadership.
1. Peter – The Overenthusiastic Go-Getter
Peter is that employee who’s always first to volunteer—whether you need someone to stay late, lead a new project, or present at the big meeting, Peter’s your guy. He’s the type who has boundless energy and a can-do attitude. However, his enthusiasm often leads to biting off more than he can chew. Peter will enthusiastically sign up to walk on water, metaphorically speaking, only to need rescuing when the reality of the task sets in. He’s the kind of employee who will promise the client the moon, without first checking if you have a spaceship in the budget.
Managing Peter is a balancing act. On the one hand, you don’t want to dampen his enthusiasm—after all, every team needs someone who’s willing to take initiative. On the other hand, you need to ensure that Peter’s ambition doesn’t lead the company into murky waters. His tendency to act first and think later can result in half-baked projects that require significant cleanup efforts.
Management Tip: Keep Peter on a tight leash—enthusiasm is great, but it needs direction. Give him manageable tasks with clear goals and realistic deadlines, so he doesn’t end up drowning in his own ambition. Regular check-ins are crucial; you’ll want to catch any potential issues before they become full-blown crises. And when Peter does succeed, make sure to celebrate his wins, reinforcing that enthusiasm tempered with wisdom leads to success.
2. Andrew – The Understated Connector
Andrew isn’t the loudest voice in the room, but he’s the one quietly making things happen behind the scenes. He’s the employee who knows everyone and is always happy to introduce new clients, partners, or opportunities to the company. Andrew’s value lies in his ability to connect dots that others might miss—he’s the unsung hero who brings in that lucrative deal without making a fuss about it.
However, because Andrew is so understated, he often goes unnoticed. He’s not the type to brag about his accomplishments or push for recognition. As a result, he can sometimes be overshadowed by more vocal colleagues like Peter or James. Yet, without Andrew, many of those big deals or important partnerships wouldn’t happen in the first place.
Management Tip: Make it a point to recognize Andrew’s contributions publicly. He may not seek the spotlight, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve it. Consider giving him the role of a relationship manager or placing him in charge of strategic partnerships. His knack for networking and connecting people will shine in these roles. And remember, a little recognition goes a long way—by appreciating Andrew’s quiet contributions, you’ll keep him motivated and loyal.
3. James (Son of Zebedee) – The Thunderous Leader
James is loud, passionate, and sometimes a bit too intense. He’s the employee who charges into the boardroom ready for a fight, advocating fiercely for his ideas—whether they’re good or not. His fiery nature earns him the nickname “Son of Thunder,” and he has no qualms about shaking things up if he believes it’s necessary. James is the type who’s always pushing for change, often to the discomfort of his more conservative colleagues.
While his passion is admirable, it can also lead to conflict. James’s forceful personality can be intimidating, and his tendency to bulldoze through opposition might create tension within the team. He’s great at rallying the troops but may struggle to find common ground with those who don’t share his vision.
Management Tip: Channel James’ thunderous energy into tasks that require assertiveness, like negotiations or sales. His passion will be an asset in these areas, where a strong, confident approach is necessary. However, when it comes to internal matters, especially those involving team dynamics, you’ll need to temper his approach. Encourage James to listen as much as he speaks and to consider other perspectives before charging ahead. This balance will help him become a more effective leader and reduce the likelihood of internal strife.
4. John – The Compassionate Idealist
John is the heart of your team, always preaching about love, unity, and the company’s mission statement. He’s the one reminding everyone about the importance of work-life balance, ethical practices, and putting people over profits. John’s idealism is both his greatest strength and his Achilles’ heel. He’s the employee who believes that if everyone just worked together and focused on the common good, everything would fall into place.
However, John’s idealism can sometimes clash with the harsh realities of running a business. In his quest to create a utopian workplace, he might overlook the practicalities—like the fact that the company needs to make money to survive. He’s the one who’ll suggest donating profits to charity right before payroll is due, or who’ll propose an all-staff retreat in the mountains during peak season.
Management Tip: Let John lead team-building exercises, community outreach programs, and initiatives that align with the company’s values. His idealism can inspire others and create a positive workplace culture. However, you’ll need to gently remind him that not every decision can be based on feelings or idealism. Sometimes, tough decisions are necessary, and as a manager, it’s your job to ensure John understands the bigger picture without crushing his spirit.
5. Philip – The Pragmatic Planner
Philip is your spreadsheet guy—the one who always has a plan, a backup plan, and a backup for the backup plan. He’s practical, methodical, and sometimes a little too focused on the details. Philip is the type of employee who will analyze every decision to death, weighing the pros and cons, calculating the risks, and ensuring that every possible scenario is accounted for.
While this level of thoroughness is invaluable in many situations, it can also slow down progress. Philip’s insistence on perfecting every plan can lead to analysis paralysis, where nothing gets done because he’s still working out the details. In a fast-paced business environment, this can be a significant drawback.
Management Tip: Assign Philip to logistics, project management, and roles that require meticulous planning. His attention to detail will ensure that projects are completed on time and within budget. However, you’ll need to set clear deadlines and encourage him to embrace a “good enough” mentality when necessary. Sometimes, perfection is the enemy of progress, and it’s your job to help Philip recognize when it’s time to move forward, even if every contingency hasn’t been accounted for.
6. Bartholomew (Nathanael) – The Skeptical Analyst
Bartholomew is the skeptic in the room, questioning every new initiative and playing devil’s advocate at every meeting. He’s the one who’ll ask, “What’s the catch?” when a deal seems too good to be true, and who’ll point out the potential downsides of that exciting new project everyone else is gushing over. Bartholomew’s skepticism can be frustrating, but it’s also a valuable asset—he’s the one who’ll spot the flaws in your latest idea before it turns into a full-blown disaster.
However, Bartholomew’s constant questioning can also dampen team morale. His pessimism, while often rooted in reality, can make him seem like a wet blanket, especially when others are excited about a new opportunity. His reluctance to embrace change can create friction with more forward-thinking team members.
Management Tip: Encourage Bartholomew’s critical thinking, but balance it by pairing him with more optimistic team members. His skepticism needs to be tempered with a “can-do” attitude to keep the team moving forward. Use Bartholomew as your reality check—before launching new products, entering new markets, or making significant changes, run the ideas by him to identify potential pitfalls. Just ensure that his role as the resident skeptic doesn’t stifle innovation or cause undue negativity within the team.
7. Matthew – The Data-Driven Accountant
Matthew is the numbers guy, always buried in spreadsheets, budgets, and financial reports. He’s meticulous, detail-oriented, and sometimes a bit too obsessed with the bottom line. Matthew will ensure that the company’s finances are in order, that every expense is accounted for, and that no penny goes untracked. He’s the employee who’ll remind you about budget constraints when you’re getting carried away with grand ideas.
While Matthew’s focus on the numbers is essential for the company’s financial health, his tunnel vision can be a drawback. He might struggle to see the bigger picture, especially when it comes to non-financial aspects of the business, like employee morale or brand reputation. Matthew is the type who’ll nix a creative idea because it doesn’t have an immediate ROI, missing the long-term benefits.
Management Tip: Keep Matthew focused on financials, but encourage him to participate in broader discussions about the company’s vision and strategy. A little exposure to the creative and strategic aspects of the business could help him understand that not everything can be quantified. When Matthew raises concerns about the budget, take them seriously but also encourage him to think about the potential long-term gains of certain investments. This will help him become a more well-rounded contributor to the company’s success.
8. Thomas – The Doubting Developer
Thomas is the software engineer who’s always a bit skeptical about new technologies, frameworks, or methodologies. He’s the one who’ll question whether that shiny new tool is really necessary or if it’s just the latest fad. Thomas’s doubts aren’t born out of negativity but out of a desire to avoid unnecessary complexity and ensure that the team isn’t jumping on a bandwagon that will soon derail.
However, Thomas’s constant doubting can slow down innovation. His reluctance to embrace change can frustrate more adventurous team members who are eager to experiment with new tools and approaches. While his caution is valuable, it can sometimes hold the team back from trying new things and evolving.
Management Tip: Leverage Thomas’s cautious nature by having him vet new technologies and tools before they’re adopted. His thorough approach will help the team avoid costly mistakes. However, encourage him to keep an open mind and remind him that sometimes, taking risks is necessary for growth. Pair him with more innovative team members to balance caution with creativity, ensuring that the team can innovate without getting stuck in a rut.
9. James (Son of Alphaeus) – The Silent Steady Worker
James, the son of Alphaeus, is the quiet, steady worker who doesn’t make a fuss but consistently delivers quality work. He’s the type of employee who flies under the radar, diligently completing tasks without seeking recognition or praise. James is dependable, reliable, and content to let others take the spotlight while he focuses on getting the job done.
While James’s humility is admirable, it can also lead to him being overlooked when it comes to promotions or new opportunities. He’s the type of employee who could easily get stuck in the same role for years, simply because he doesn’t push himself forward. However, his quiet dedication is an asset to the team, providing a solid foundation on which others can build.
Management Tip: Don’t let James’s quiet nature cause him to be overlooked. Make a point to recognize his contributions and ensure that he has opportunities for growth and development. Encourage him to take on new challenges and responsibilities, even if he’s hesitant at first. James may not seek the spotlight, but with a little encouragement, he can become a key player in the company’s success.
10. Thaddaeus (Jude) – The Team Player
Thaddaeus is the team player, always willing to lend a hand and support his colleagues. He’s the employee who fosters a sense of camaraderie and teamwork, ensuring that everyone feels included and valued. Thaddaeus may not be the most vocal or ambitious, but his ability to bring people together and create a positive work environment is invaluable.
However, Thaddaeus’s focus on harmony can sometimes lead to him avoiding conflict or difficult conversations. He’s the type who’ll sweep issues under the rug rather than address them head-on, hoping that they’ll resolve themselves. While his desire to keep the peace is admirable, it can also lead to unresolved issues that fester and grow over time.
Management Tip: Leverage Thaddaeus’s team spirit by having him lead team-building activities and initiatives that promote collaboration. However, encourage him to address conflicts or issues directly rather than avoiding them. Provide him with the tools and support he needs to have difficult conversations when necessary, helping him grow into a more effective team leader.
11. Simon the Zealot – The Passionate Advocate
Simon is the passionate advocate who’s always pushing for the company to take a stand on social issues, embrace corporate responsibility, and make a difference in the world. He’s the employee who believes that business isn’t just about profits—it’s about making a positive impact on society. Simon’s zeal can be contagious, inspiring others to think about the broader implications of their work.
However, Simon’s passion can also lead to clashes with those who are more focused on the bottom line. He’s the type who’ll push for the company to take bold, sometimes risky stands on controversial issues, which can create tension within the team. While his commitment to social responsibility is admirable, it can sometimes overshadow other important business considerations.
Management Tip: Allow Simon to take the lead on corporate social responsibility initiatives and community outreach programs. His passion will drive these projects forward and help the company make a positive impact. However, ensure that he understands the need to balance social responsibility with business sustainability. Encourage him to consider the long-term implications of his advocacy and to work collaboratively with others to find solutions that align with the company’s mission and values.
12. Judas Iscariot – The Troubled Opportunist
Judas Iscariot is the most controversial figure on your team. He’s ambitious, cunning, and always looking for an opportunity to get ahead—sometimes at the expense of others. Judas is the type of employee who’s great at closing deals and making money for the company, but his methods can be questionable. He’s the one who might cut corners, bend the rules, or engage in ethically dubious behavior if he thinks it will benefit him.
While Judas’s ambition can drive results, it also poses a significant risk to the company’s reputation and integrity. His willingness to betray others for personal gain makes him a dangerous figure within the team, and if left unchecked, his actions could lead to serious consequences for the entire organization.
Management Tip: Keep a close eye on Judas’s activities and ensure that he’s operating within the bounds of company policies and ethical standards. While his ability to generate results is valuable, it’s important to ensure that those results are achieved in a way that aligns with the company’s values. Consider placing him in roles where his ambition can be channeled positively, such as in high-stakes sales or negotiations, but be prepared to intervene if his behavior crosses the line. And remember, sometimes the best course of action is to part ways with employees whose values don’t align with the company’s.
Conclusion: Leading with a Light Touch
Managing a team of diverse personalities, each with their strengths and weaknesses, is a challenge that every small business leader must face. The key to success lies in understanding the unique qualities each individual brings to the table and finding ways to harness those qualities for the greater good of the company. Whether you’re dealing with a Peter who’s too eager, a Thomas who’s too skeptical, or a Judas who’s too opportunistic, the goal is to strike a balance that allows each team member to contribute in their own way while ensuring that the company’s mission remains on track.
Leading with a light touch means knowing when to step in and when to let your team members figure things out on their own. It means recognizing the value of each individual, even when their quirks and flaws make them challenging to manage. And most importantly, it means creating a work environment where everyone feels valued, respected, and empowered to do their best work.
So, the next time you find yourself overwhelmed by the challenges of managing a small business, take a step back and think about how the Twelve Disciples might handle the situation. With a little humor, a lot of patience, and a willingness to embrace the quirks of your team, you might just find that managing your own group of diverse personalities is not only possible but also incredibly rewarding.
Author: John S. Morlu II, CPA is the CEO and Chief Strategist of JS Morlu, leads a globally recognized public accounting and management consultancy firm. Under his visionary leadership, JS Morlu has become a pioneer in developing cutting-edge technologies across B2B, B2C, P2P, and B2G verticals. The firm’s groundbreaking innovations include AI-powered reconciliation software (ReckSoft.com) and advanced cloud accounting solutions (FinovatePro.com), setting new industry standards for efficiency, accuracy, and technological excellence.
