By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
In the heart of Suburbia, nestled between a strip mall and a convenience store, there stood a small business—let’s call it “Workplace Solutions, LLC.” The name itself was a testament to John’s ambition: to provide unparalleled solutions for the modern workplace, even if he wasn’t entirely sure what that meant anymore. It was here that John, the small business owner, battled the daily trials of entrepreneurship with a ragtag team of employees who had their own unique ways of keeping the company from ever reaching its full potential.
John, in his late thirties, had started Workplace Solutions with a vision. He dreamed of creating a revolutionary product that would change the face of corporate life forever. However, the dream had slowly morphed into a much grimmer reality—one where the biggest triumph of the week was when the Wi-Fi didn’t cut out during an important Zoom call.
Monday Morning: A Slow Start
It was 9:05 a.m., and John had already settled into his office chair, the kind with lumbar support that he had convinced himself was essential for productivity. He opened his laptop and logged into the company’s project management software, which they had started using two months ago but had yet to figure out how to effectively integrate into their workflow.
As he sipped his lukewarm coffee, John couldn’t help but feel a sense of déjà vu. Every Monday felt eerily similar to the last. The coffee tasted the same, the emails were just as uninspiring, and the team… well, the team was as enthusiastic as ever—if “enthusiastic” meant showing up in pajama bottoms for their 10 a.m. virtual stand-up meeting.
In walked Carl, the senior sales manager, sporting a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts. It was as if Carl believed his wardrobe was the key to workplace morale. “Morning, boss!” Carl shouted, his voice unnecessarily loud, given the quietness of the office.
“Morning, Carl,” John replied, forcing a smile. Carl’s sales numbers had been flat for six months, but his enthusiasm for happy hour and office pool tournaments never waned. Priorities, John thought to himself.
The Team: A Motley Crew
Then there was Susan, the office manager. If Carl was the heart of the office, Susan was the glue—albeit the kind that never fully dried, leaving everything just a little bit sticky and mildly irritating. Susan had a knack for ordering supplies they didn’t need while missing the essential ones. It was this very talent that had left them with an overstock of neon post-it notes but no printer toner for three weeks.
“John, we need to talk about the office printer,” Susan announced as she shuffled in, balancing a stack of mail in one hand and a half-eaten granola bar in the other.
“Still out of toner?” John asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yup. But don’t worry, I ordered more post-its! In four different colors!” Susan beamed, oblivious to the murder in John’s eyes.
Meanwhile, Tom, the IT guy, was busy doing what he did best—tinkering with the office’s decade-old server, which constantly threatened to retire on its own terms. Tom had been hired to bring the company into the digital age, but so far, the only noticeable change was the number of unopened boxes containing “smart” devices that Tom insisted would revolutionize their operations.
“Hey John, did you get a chance to check out that new software I recommended?” Tom asked, popping his head into John’s office.
“Tom, the last ‘software’ you recommended wiped half our files and installed a toolbar in everyone’s browser that we still can’t remove,” John replied, trying to keep his voice calm.
“Yeah, but this one’s different! Trust me,” Tom said, grinning. John made a mental note to have the company files backed up on an external drive, just in case.
The Projects That Never Quite Get Done
At the center of Workplace Solutions’ operations was a project—the “big idea” that had brought the team together in the first place. The project was supposed to be a groundbreaking office productivity app, but after two years, it had become more of a myth than a reality. Each department had their own version of what the app was supposed to do, leading to an unholy chimera of conflicting features that, if they ever managed to integrate, would likely cause the app to self-destruct.
“Guys, we really need to finalize the feature list for the app,” John announced during the Monday morning stand-up, which was more of a sit-down, given that no one ever actually stood up.
“Well, I think it should definitely include a feature that tracks time spent in meetings,” suggested Laura, the head of HR, who had a penchant for scheduling meetings to discuss the necessity of other meetings.
“I was thinking more of a feature that helps organize email threads,” Carl interjected, though it was common knowledge that Carl had 2,000 unread emails in his inbox.
Tom chimed in with, “What about a feature that automatically backs up all files to the cloud and also installs the latest security updates?”
The team collectively ignored Tom’s suggestion, as they did with most of his tech-savvy ideas. John sighed. They were no closer to a final product than they had been six months ago.
The Consultants: Snake Oil Salesmen in Disguise
Desperate times called for desperate measures, so John decided to bring in consultants. Enter the Bobs—yes, two consultants, both named Bob, who spoke in buzzwords and corporate jargon so convoluted that even Carl had a hard time pretending to understand.
“So, John, let me get this straight,” began Bob 1, adjusting his glasses as he scribbled on a whiteboard. “Your team is not aligned with the core vision of the project, which is inhibiting the synergistic potential of your deliverables.”
John blinked. “Uh, sure.”
“And that’s why we recommend a full pivot to a customer-centric, low-hanging fruit approach,” added Bob 2, with a smile that suggested he had just solved world hunger.
“What does that even mean?” Susan whispered to Laura, who shrugged in response.
The Bobs spent the next two weeks “analyzing workflows” and “realigning strategic goals,” which mostly involved sitting in on meetings and nodding sagely while offering no practical advice whatsoever. In the end, they presented John with a thick report full of buzzwords, accompanied by an invoice that made John question his life choices.
Friday: The Office Party That No One Wanted
By the time Friday rolled around, the team was ready for the weekly “office party,” which was more of a sad gathering in the break room with a box of stale donuts and a cooler of lukewarm soda. John had tried to instill a sense of camaraderie in the team, but the truth was, most of them were counting down the minutes until they could go home and forget about the week.
“Cheers to another week!” Carl said, raising his plastic cup.
“Cheers,” the team echoed half-heartedly.
As John looked around the room at his motley crew of employees, he couldn’t help but feel a mix of frustration and fondness. Yes, the company was a mess, the app was nowhere near completion, and the Bobs had probably just swindled him out of a few thousand dollars. But this was his mess, and these were his people.
And maybe, just maybe, that was enough to keep him going for another week.
Epilogue: The Moral of the Story
In the end, John realized that running a small business wasn’t about achieving perfection. It was about surviving the chaos, navigating the absurdities, and finding humor in the daily grind. His team might not have been the most efficient, and his vision might have gotten lost in a sea of neon post-its and consultant jargon, but they were all in it together. And in a world of corporate nonsense, that was something worth celebrating—even if it was with a stale donut and lukewarm soda.
Author: John S. Morlu II, CPA is the CEO and Chief Strategist of JS Morlu, leads a globally recognized public accounting and management consultancy firm. Under his visionary leadership, JS Morlu has become a pioneer in developing cutting-edge technologies across B2B, B2C, P2P, and B2G verticals. The firm’s groundbreaking innovations include AI-powered reconciliation software (ReckSoft.com) and advanced cloud accounting solutions (FinovatePro.com), setting new industry standards for efficiency, accuracy, and technological excellence.
