By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
In the wake of COVID-19, the corporate world experienced an unprecedented shift as millions of employees transitioned from bustling offices to the comfort of their own homes. While this transition brought numerous benefits—such as saving time on commutes, wearing pajama bottoms to meetings, and embracing a flexible work-life balance—it also gave birth to some of the most absurd and audacious work habits ever documented in corporate history. Welcome to the remote work circus, where some employees are juggling multiple full-time jobs, mastering the art of napping, and honing their skills as professional online shoppers, all while allegedly “working from home.”
Act One: The Multi-Job Juggler
Meet Jane, a seemingly mild-mannered data analyst by day—or rather, by four days. You see, Jane has managed to land not one, not two, but four full-time jobs, all under the guise of remote work. How does she do it? Simple: by becoming a master of deception and time management—or lack thereof.
Jane’s day begins with logging into her first job at 9:00 AM sharp. She checks her emails, attends a meeting or two, and then, as if by magic, she vanishes into the ether, only to reappear in the virtual offices of her second, third, and fourth employers. With a flurry of keyboard shortcuts and strategically placed sticky notes, she toggles between multiple Zoom calls, each time presenting herself as the epitome of a dedicated employee. Jane has even developed a unique skill set for muting herself at just the right moment to avoid being caught speaking in two meetings simultaneously. Her employers, none the wiser, praise her for her punctuality and dedication, blissfully unaware that Jane’s “full-time” commitment is divided into four equal parts, each with the barest minimum of effort.
Of course, this juggling act is not without its hiccups. On more than one occasion, Jane has accidentally shared a screen from Job #3 during a presentation for Job #1, prompting a flurry of confused messages and frantic window-closing. But in the remote work circus, such slip-ups are mere blips in an otherwise smooth performance. As long as the paychecks keep rolling in, who’s to question Jane’s astonishing productivity?
Act Two: The Professional Napper
If there’s one skill that some remote workers have perfected during the pandemic, it’s the art of the mid-day nap. Once confined to lazy Sunday afternoons, napping has now become an integral part of the remote workday for many. Take Bob, for example—a project manager who, in the pre-pandemic world, was known for his tireless work ethic and early morning coffee runs. But now, thanks to the wonders of remote work, Bob has discovered a new passion: sleeping on the job.
Bob’s daily routine is a marvel of modern laziness. After a brief morning check-in with his team, during which he mutters a few generic phrases like “Let’s circle back on that” or “I’ll follow up offline,” Bob disappears from his home office, retreating to the comfort of his bed. There, he drifts into a blissful slumber, his work laptop strategically placed on his nightstand to give the illusion of availability.
To avoid suspicion, Bob has perfected the art of appearing active online. His status never reads “Away” or “Idle,” thanks to a clever little device that wiggles his mouse at regular intervals. His team, unaware of his napping habit, assumes he’s diligently working on project timelines and client deliverables. Little do they know that Bob’s primary deliverable is a solid three-hour nap, punctuated by the occasional dream about actually doing his job.
When he finally emerges from his mid-day snooze, Bob checks his emails and sends out a few vague messages to give the impression of productivity. By the end of the day, he has managed to accomplish just enough to keep the wheels turning, all while ensuring he’s well-rested for another grueling day of remote work.
Act Three: The Mall-Centric “Worker”
In the remote work circus, not everyone is content to nap their way through the day. Some prefer to spend their time in more stimulating environments—like the mall. Enter Sarah, a marketing executive with a penchant for shopping. Before the pandemic, Sarah was known for her sharp presentations and meticulous attention to detail. But now, with remote work granting her the freedom to manage her own schedule, Sarah has traded her office for the mall, where she “works” amidst the soothing hum of consumerism.
Sarah’s day begins like any other remote worker’s: a quick glance at her emails, a few Slack messages to maintain the illusion of engagement, and then she’s off to her true place of business—the local shopping mall. Armed with her laptop and a strong Wi-Fi connection, Sarah sets up shop at her favorite café, where she sips on overpriced lattes while casually browsing through the latest sales.
But Sarah isn’t just a shopper; she’s a multitasker. As she strolls through the aisles of designer stores, she takes calls with clients, her voice echoing through the racks of clothing as she discusses marketing strategies and budget allocations. Her colleagues, listening intently on the other end, are none the wiser to the fact that Sarah is in the middle of a shoe-shopping spree. And when she needs to dash to a fitting room, she simply mutes herself, claiming “connectivity issues” or “unexpected background noise.” In the world of remote work, these excuses are the golden ticket to uninterrupted retail therapy.
By the time Sarah returns home, her workday is technically over, but her shopping bags are full. She logs back into her work portal just long enough to send out a final email or two, wrapping up the day with a sense of accomplishment that only a successful shopping trip can provide.
Act Four: The Overzealous Micromanager
Not all remote workers have embraced the lax lifestyle of their multi-jobbing, napping, or shopping counterparts. Some have gone to the opposite extreme, transforming into overzealous micromanagers who believe that constant surveillance and endless meetings are the key to remote work success.
Take Tom, for example, a team leader who has fully embraced the mantra “If you’re not busy, you’re not working.” From the moment his team transitioned to remote work, Tom has made it his mission to monitor every aspect of their day, filling their calendars with back-to-back Zoom meetings, check-ins, and “brainstorming sessions.” His belief is simple: if his team is always in a meeting, they must be working.
Tom’s obsession with control knows no bounds. He schedules meetings at odd hours, sending out cryptic messages like “urgent sync” and “impromptu huddle” just to keep his team on their toes. He demands detailed reports on every task, no matter how trivial, and insists on video calls for the most mundane updates, just to ensure no one is slacking off. The result? A team that spends more time preparing for meetings than actually doing any work.
But Tom doesn’t stop there. He has even taken to randomly dropping into his team members’ virtual offices unannounced, armed with probing questions like “What are you working on right now?” and “How do you justify your time on this task?” His team, now experts in dodging his relentless scrutiny, have developed a range of coping mechanisms, from creating fake “task lists” to keeping a stash of emergency snacks just out of view of the camera.
Act Five: The Perpetual “Technical Difficulty” Artist
In the remote work circus, where creativity knows no bounds, there exists a special breed of employee who has mastered the art of technological sabotage. Meet Karen, a customer service representative who has discovered the perfect excuse to avoid her least favorite tasks: technical difficulties.
Karen’s performances are nothing short of Oscar-worthy. Just as she’s about to dive into a challenging customer complaint or a tedious spreadsheet, disaster strikes—her internet connection suddenly drops, her webcam freezes, or her microphone cuts out. With a sigh and an exaggerated expression of frustration, Karen informs her team that she’s experiencing “technical issues” and needs to log off momentarily. What her colleagues don’t know is that Karen’s “technical difficulties” are as intentional as they are convenient.
Karen has amassed a toolbox of tricks to ensure her perpetual state of semi-productivity. She’s learned how to simulate a slow internet connection by selectively disabling her Wi-Fi and how to create a convincing “frozen screen” by simply holding a pose in front of her webcam. She even has a collection of pre-recorded videos of herself nodding and typing, ready to be played on loop during meetings to give the impression that she’s fully engaged, even when she’s actually watching her favorite reality TV show.
But Karen’s pièce de résistance is her ability to fake a complete system crash. With a few keystrokes, she can generate a “blue screen of death” that sends her computer into a seemingly catastrophic failure. Her colleagues, sympathetic to her plight, are quick to excuse her from the day’s tasks, allowing Karen to spend her afternoons in blissful relaxation, far from the clutches of customer complaints and spreadsheets.
Act Six: The Office Socialite Turned Online Influencer
For some remote workers, the transition from office life to home office life was a stark contrast. Gone were the watercooler chats, the spontaneous lunches, and the lively office banter. But where there’s a will, there’s a way, and so emerged the Office Socialite Turned Online Influencer. Take Lisa, for example—a former HR manager whose office was once the epicenter of social activity. Faced with the loneliness of remote work, Lisa did what any self-respecting social butterfly would do: she reinvented herself as an online influencer, blending her workday with her new-found fame.
Lisa’s day begins not with emails, but with a perfectly lit Instagram story detailing her “morning routine.” She carefully curates her posts to showcase a harmonious blend of “working” and “living,” with captions like “Just wrapped up a big HR meeting, now time for some self-care!” Her followers, many of whom are her own colleagues, marvel at how seamlessly Lisa appears to balance her professional responsibilities with her glamorous influencer lifestyle.
But the truth behind the filter is that Lisa’s workday has become a constant juggling act between her actual job and her influencer duties. As she sits in on a Zoom call, her mind is elsewhere, plotting her next TikTok dance challenge or planning a sponsored post for a new skincare product. She’s become adept at using her company’s tasks as content fodder, snapping photos of her meticulously arranged workspace or sharing “motivational” quotes that double as subtle promotions for her latest brand partnership.
Lisa’s newfound fame hasn’t gone unnoticed by her bosses, who initially encouraged her “positive online presence.” However, as her work output began to dwindle in favor of her influencer engagements, concerns started to rise. Yet Lisa remains undeterred, continuing to build her brand while riding the wave of remote work flexibility. After all, in a world where work-life balance is the ultimate goal, who’s to say she isn’t achieving just that?
Act Seven: The PhD in Procrastination
Last but certainly not least, we arrive at the PhD in Procrastination—an individual whose procrastination skills have been honed to perfection in the remote work environment. Enter Steve, a software developer with a reputation for delivering code at the eleventh hour. Before the pandemic, Steve’s procrastination was manageable, confined to the occasional missed deadline or hastily written report. But in the world of remote work, Steve has elevated his craft to an art form.
Steve’s day begins with good intentions. He starts by creating an elaborate to-do list, carefully categorizing tasks by priority and estimated time of completion. But before he can tackle his first item, Steve decides he needs a little motivation—a quick scroll through social media, perhaps, or a glance at the latest tech news. An hour later, Steve realizes he’s fallen down a rabbit hole of cat videos and conspiracy theories, but instead of diving into his work, he convinces himself that a quick snack break will help him focus.
The snack break turns into a full-fledged cooking session, complete with a new recipe that Steve just had to try. By the time he’s finished, his morning has evaporated, and the guilt begins to set in. Steve returns to his computer, determined to make up for lost time, but soon finds himself researching “productivity hacks” and “time management tips,” further delaying the inevitable.
As the day slips away, Steve’s anxiety grows. With deadlines looming, he enters a state of panic-fueled productivity, churning out code at lightning speed and firing off emails with barely a glance. By midnight, he’s managed to complete just enough to stay afloat, but the cycle is far from over. The next day, it all begins again, with Steve’s procrastination tactics becoming more creative and elaborate as he searches for new ways to avoid his responsibilities.
But Steve’s procrastination doesn’t go unnoticed by his colleagues, who have learned to expect last-minute emails and frantic Slack messages. Despite his reputation, Steve somehow always manages to deliver—albeit in the most stressful and chaotic way possible. In the remote work circus, he is the tightrope walker, precariously balancing between productivity and disaster, always on the brink of falling but never quite hitting the ground.
The Grand Finale: The Remote Work Show Must Go On
As the curtain rises on the remote work circus, it’s clear that the post-COVID workplace is a kaleidoscope of innovation, absurdity, and unexpected twists. In this new world, some employees have seized the freedom of remote work to push the boundaries of productivity, while others have turned their homes into a stage for the most outlandish work habits imaginable. From multi-job jugglers and professional nappers to mall-centric “workers” and overzealous micromanagers, the remote work show has become a spectacle of both brilliance and chaos.
The pandemic has unleashed a colorful cast of characters, each redefining what it means to “clock in” from the comfort of one’s own home. The once-clear lines between work and life have blurred into a surreal landscape where the boundaries of productivity, responsibility, and leisure are constantly shifting. Amidst the satire and exaggeration, there’s a kernel of truth: the remote work revolution is reshaping the workplace, challenging companies to adapt to this evolving reality.
So grab your popcorn, settle in, and enjoy the spectacle—because in this circus, the antics are only getting wilder. One thing is certain: the remote work circus is here to stay, and the show must go on.
Author: John S. Morlu II, CPA is the CEO and Chief Strategist of JS Morlu, leads a globally recognized public accounting and management consultancy firm. Under his visionary leadership, JS Morlu has become a pioneer in developing cutting-edge technologies across B2B, B2C, P2P, and B2G verticals. The firm’s groundbreaking innovations include AI-powered reconciliation software (ReckSoft.com) and advanced cloud accounting solutions (FinovatePro.com), setting new industry standards for efficiency, accuracy, and technological excellence.
